MOA, Calif.--Museum officials claim someone stole Sun Resting On Hill sometime early this morning from the Ugly Art Only (UAO) Museum.

Sun Resting On Hill is a masterpiece by highly acclaimed artist Vinnie Van Gone-uck who painted in the late 12th century.

"The thief showed no respect for the age of the painting," said Chief Security Officer Will Nevermoved, a witness to the theft. "I saw him wrap it up in a bunch of newspaper like it was a dead, smelly, day-old, ugly, bug-eyed fish and toss, no fling, no skip like a stone, the painting straight into the back of his truck."

Nevermoved believes the theft was related to a series of threats the UAO Museum has been receiving because there are no kittens hanging on the Museum walls. 

A spokesperson says, "We have had ongoing complaints about the lack of kittens. Our response has been appropriate—does anyone think a museum known for presenting only ugly art would host a kitten exhibit? Our visitors don't want to see that."

Police are baffled. Museum officials are distressed. That's why they've called in the expert (that's you) to solve this crime.

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